Route 6
15-minute rehearsal map for flooding and self-soothing
Rehearse a pre-agreed break protocol for flooding: neutral signal, return time, self-soothing, calm re-entry.
Best for
Flooding or shutdown appears during conflict; rehearse before conflict.
Skip it when
You intend to use the break as punishment or avoidance.
One person speaks, the other listens. You swap as the route guides you.
00:00-02:00
Whoever’s speaking: Read the rule: flooding overrides the agenda.
Whoever’s listening: Confirm: 'A break is not abandonment if we state a return time.'
You’ll know the step landed when: Shared definition.
02:00-04:00
Whoever’s speaking: Name your flooding signs: body, thoughts, impulses.
Whoever’s listening: Listen and write partner's signs.
You’ll know the step landed when: Flooding cues identified.
04:00-06:00
Whoever’s speaking: Choose a neutral signal and exact phrase.
Whoever’s listening: Agree or adjust until it feels non-shaming.
You’ll know the step landed when: Signal selected.
06:00-08:00
Whoever’s speaking: Name two self-soothing actions: walk, breathing, music, reading, meditation, muscle relaxation.
Whoever’s listening: Name two self-soothing actions.
You’ll know the step landed when: Break plan built.
08:00-10:00
Whoever’s speaking: Practice calling time-out: signal + reason + return time.
Whoever’s listening: Practice receiving: respect + repeat return time.
You’ll know the step landed when: Call/receive script rehearsed.
10:00-12:00
Whoever’s speaking: Switch roles and repeat.
Whoever’s listening: Switch roles and repeat.
You’ll know the step landed when: Both can call and receive.
12:00-14:00
Whoever’s speaking: Write re-entry script: 'I am ready / I need more time until ____.'
Whoever’s listening: Write re-entry script.
You’ll know the step landed when: Return path set.
14:00-15:00
Whoever’s speaking: Agree: no stewing, no texting arguments, no punishment.
Whoever’s listening: Agree and sign verbally.
You’ll know the step landed when: Protocol locked.
Call time-out
“I am flooded. I need a break to calm down. I will come back at ____.”
Receive time-out
“I hear you need a break. We will return at ____.”
Self-soothing reminder
“I am not building my case. I am calming my body.”
Return ready
“I am ready to listen again. Can we restart with one issue?”
Return not ready
“I need more time. I will come back at ____ today.”
If partner pursues
“I am not leaving the relationship. I am taking the agreed break so I do not escalate.”
Time-out call builder: I am flooded. I need a break to calm down. I will come back at ____.